When an employee is going through a divorce, it can be nerve-wracking for them to approach you about their situation. Negative stigma around divorce is still unnervingly prevalent across the world – in fact, as many as 1 in 3 adults in the US believe that divorce is completely unacceptable. Consequently, when your employee approaches you about their situation, it’s important to show them that they can talk to you without fear of judgement.
If you’re wondering why it’s good practice to know how to handle an employee’s personal situation, remember that when your employee’s home life is affected, it will also affect their work. That’s not to say that you should pry if your employee does not wish to share their situation with you – but if they approach you, there are always things you can do to help.
My employee is going through a divorce. What can I do to help?
There are a few things to consider when one of your employees is going through a divorce: Do they want to talk about it, or would they rather keep it private? Have they asked for any adjustments at work? Are their workplace relationships being affected as a result of their separation?
The likelihood is that, no matter what, a divorce is going to affect your employee’s work life. Being supported by their employer can make the difference between falling behind and keeping up a healthy work-life balance and good relationships between their co-workers.
If an employee approaches you about struggling at work due to a divorce, there are a few things you can do:
- Be understanding. Divorce is difficult, time-consuming and emotionally traumatic. Putting extra pressure on your employee to remain unaffected by their home situation is much more likely to hinder their performance than help.
- Offer resources. Your employee may not know who to turn to for help. In this situation it can be valuable to offer them a direction, such as giving them access to stress management courses, mindfulness workshops, and helping to fund counselling and other support services.
- Work with their schedule. They may need to be present at court dates and other obligations that would be difficult to adjust, such as childcare arrangements. As an employer, you may not be able to spare your employees all the time, but it helps to compromise by offering flexibility with working hours.
As an employer, you aren’t obligated to offer adjustments in the case of divorce. However, understanding what they might be going through and going the extra mile to make sure they feel supported and listened to at work is always a good step towards creating a positive and productive company environment.
What not to do when your employee is going through a separation
If your employee approaches you about going through a divorce, you may feel unsure about how to handle the situation respectfully. You can rest easily knowing that your employee actively sought you out for help; if they didn’t want your input, they wouldn’t have done so! However, there are still some things that you should avoid in order to keep a professional relationship with your employee and ensure that you aren’t making the situation worse.
When your employee approaches you, avoid:
- Asking for personal information. Beyond the details you need to know as an employer, and the things your employee is willing to share with you, the details of their divorce are private. Never push for your employee to give you any unnecessary information.
- Taking sides. Similarly to the above point, the details of your employee’s divorce should remain personal, even if they choose to share them with you. Taking sides, even defensively, can be upsetting and overbearing.
- Being dismissive. It’s important to understand just how much of an impact divorce will be having on your employee’s life. Even if there isn’t much you can do for your employee, lend them a sympathetic ear. Don’t be quick to dismiss their concerns.
- Spreading rumours. Your employee’s concerns should always remain confidential. You should never talk about their situation with anyone you do not need to discuss it with at a company level.
It’s easy to remain respectful to your employees, even if you can’t accommodate all of their requests. Creating a positive and understanding environment for your employees makes sure they aren’t discouraged from raising concerns again.
Are employees entitled to days off for divorce proceedings?
Employees are entitled to compassionate leave for life-changing events such as bereavement and sickness. It’s up in the air whether divorce can be considered for compassionate leave, but the impact it has on the life of your employees should not be underestimated. If your employee requests leave for divorce, remember that the best policy for a positive workplace environment is compassion.
For more advice on similar issues related to employee wellbeing and HR-related topics, head over to our dedicated HR guides for employers section.
